My Mom would have celebrated her 78th birthday today if the surgery and subsequent chemotherapy had worked. But none of it worked, and March 3rd is now a day of remembrance, not one of cake and presents.
It doesn't matter what type of relationship you currently have with your mother...loving, testy, argumentative, long distance or none at all...you will miss her when she's gone. I miss mine. You too will miss that presence in your life.
If it's a bad relationship? You will have so many regrets about opportunities lost after she's gone.
If it's a good relationship? Your safety net, your comfort zone, the person you could always go to regardless of how crazy she made you...will be gone and there will be a big hole in your life that you can never fill.
More than likely your relationship with your mother is like the one I had. A mixture of most of the above - loving, testy, argumentative, and long distance for the last 30 years.
I moved with my parents from Illinois to California in 1979, and then returned to Illinois to marry in 1982. I never lived in the same town as my parents again. For a few years we lived in the same STATE, but nearly 6 hours away. Visiting was always a long car ride, or a plane ride. I couldn't just drop in for coffee or have them over for supper. It was always a VISIT...and you know how visits can go. No matter how much the visit is anticipated and appreciated, sometimes the visit is just a day or two longer than it should be. :)
Anyway - I'd always send a box of gifts to my Mom and my Dad for their birthdays. The box would contain little things, certainly nothing they couldn't find in California, but stuff that made them aware I was thinking of them - a book, maybe a t-shirt from a place we'd visited here in the Midwest, always some thick, new socks, and some favorite candy. My Dad loved that orange taffy candy you always see around Halloween AND he loved Reese's Peanut Butter cups..so he always got that. Mom? I always sent her a few packages of PEEPS.
She loved Peeps. I do not. Honestly, I think she was the only person I know who loved to eat those things. Peeps of any shape or color. And Black licorice.
The Easter Peeps are now out in force in every store I enter -- each time I see them, I smile and think of Mom. Last year I was with her on Easter morning. I gave her an Easter basket filled with Black Licorice and a variety of Peeps. She took glee in biting off their little heads. :)
Below is a picture of Mom taken at her surprise 75th birthday party. It was a Good Day. I wish I could have had a few more opportunities to buy those nasty peeps for her box, just a few more Happy Birthday calls. :)
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